We had a rough weekend leading into Middle School Camp 1. Good friends stayed at camp as they set up a memorial cross for their daughter by the campfire where she spent so many summer evenings.
She had been a camper, counselor, and camp intern and when she lost her battle with depression it broke us in ways we can’t fully express or understand.
Scruff had also asked one of our former staff if he would help us fall some trees around the camp to make the area safer. With the pine beetles sweeping through our local forest, dead trees are increasing.
As the grieving family of this dear young woman put up a handcrafted cross in a grove of aspen near the meadow, this young man cut down pine trees. He had just heard about the death of a close friend, once again a young person who lost their battle with depression. All three were in the same graduating class from the same high school and now two were gone.
I was one of that young man’s AWANA leaders and remembered him as a pesky and vibrant kid who was so fun and bright-eyed and made sure there was always a lot of action in the room so the leaders wouldn’t get lazy!
It was a lot. Missing a staff member who had been one of our camp daughters, hearing about this second death, watching others in their grief, grieving again ourselves.
It begins to feel hopeless. When you have answered the call to ministry and poured out yourself to the best of your ability and walked forward knowing that your heart would break, but despite it all, to lose the precious young ones you tried to love. These are dark moments.
What do you do when you point the way to Jesus again and again, and some are still lost? What do you do when your loved one finds Jesus, but then they are lost to you in a different and terrible way?
I know the answer just like you do. You keep pressing on. God is still there. The darkness won’t win. Oh, I know it’s all true. But it doesn’t feel like enough when the one you loved is gone.
Then Spiro, our speaker for Middle School 1, told her story.
The campers listened closely, because this was a story from way back when she was the same age as the wonderful children whose photos you’ve been enjoying.
But when your work is full-time ministry, there is always so much going on behind the scenes. Broken hearts, hard conversations, tough times that lead to growth, joyful moments you cannot properly express. Spiro’s story was so much deeper for those of us who lived it, because it was an incredible reminder that God is still at work, even when the darkness seems awfully big and the light so very small.
When Spiro was thirteen years old she planned to kill herself. She had it all worked out but someone she didn’t even know very well paid to send her to camp. So she decided to delay her plan until after she got home from Camas Meadows Bible Camp where a younger Scruffy and Boo Boo were both running camp and running after three rowdy boys of their own.
Spiro’s counselor was named Rhyme and she greeted her at the door with a smile, told her that she was so glad Spiro (as you may have guessed, her name was not yet Spiro) was there, and at some point that week said in the confident way that she has “God wanted you to be here.”
And we know that He did because Spiro decided to follow Jesus that week and our Lord is a God who rescues and wants salvation for every single lost sheep and lost son and lost daughter.
When you haven’t been in ministry for twenty-five years, it is easy to flippantly tell the story of the little boy tossing starfish back into the sea in moments of loss and grief and being overwhelmed. When asked why he was working so hard at something that didn’t matter, because he couldn’t save them all, the boy replied that it mattered to this starfish as he held up the one in his hand before launching it back into the waves.
That story certainly illustrates a truth, keep pressing on, it matters. But what if the starfish that was lost held your heart? What if you spent sleepless nights over that starfish? What if the loss of that starfish leaves you broken and forever changed? And then what about all the others? What if they do, too?
And yet, hearing Spiro’s testimony held an incredible amount of power for all of the staff who have been grieving those we have lost. Seeing Spiro win her battle with depression, grown up, a wife, a mom, laughing, teaching, leading campers toward Jesus, singing worship songs, giving hugs. It brought so much joy!
The joy is not any less victorious just because there is also pain. God’s work at Camas Meadows Bible Camp is not less powerful because of the losses we have faced. While starfish stories may fall short, God’s glory is so good to see. He has used camp and will continue to use camp. He has even used us and will continue to do that, too.
So, besides sharing her story, which was fascinating to the campers and new staff and totally slayed the older staff who may or may not have been feeling just a wee bit discouraged . . . what did Spiro talk about?
Luke 15–The Father’s Heart!
On Tuesday, Spiro talked about how the younger son wasted all the money he had and then was left hurting and empty. What do you do when you’ve lived a wasted life? Is there any hope? How can you come back to God after doing something terrible?
“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.” –Luke 15:13
On Wednesday she talked about sin, consequences, how that younger son ended up in the pig pen. Then the powerful moment when “he came to his senses” and realized that the lowest servant in his father’s house was better off. What if he went back?
“I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.” –Luke 15:18-19
On Thursday, Spiro spoke on the Father’s response to this son who dragged himself back home, expecting to live the rest of his days as a servant. On Friday, she spoke on what life looks like after we’ve been forgiven. As you can see from the cabin skits, there was a particular part of this story that resonated with the campers.
“So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” — Luke 15:20
“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’” — Luke 15:21
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.” — Luke 15:22
“Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.” — Luke 15:23
“For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” — Luke 15:24
“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him.” — Luke 15:28
“?‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” –Luke 15:31
“But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’?” –Luke 15:32
The Father’s words resonate with me today. Perhaps they are not just for the jealous older sons of this world who are distracted by people’s sin, offended by God’s audacious love, and wishing that their efforts to earn God’s regard had gone just a bit better. What if the Father’s words are also for the discouraged sons and daughters? What if they are for the ones who have stood alone in the road, tears running down their cheeks, watching one more prodigal march away toward the pig pen? What if the Father’s words are for the ones who keep watching that empty road, longing for the one who hasn’t returned? What if the Father’s words are for those who are realizing there are so many different ways you can lose someone?
We have lost people. Some, we will see in Heaven, some may yet come down that road. But our Father calls us to rejoice with Him because there are beloved sons and daughters even now walking the road back to Him. Do not let sorrow blind you to the sight of a prodigal on his way home, Dear One. Run for the robe and the ring and the sandals! Kill the fattened calf! Cook the feast!
” . . . because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’?” — Luke 15:32b
